I’ve been helping to field the customer service email for LaLaLingerie.com since people are FREAKING out about getting their Halloween costumes on time. This one person in particular, I just want to straight up bitch slap. Tell me if this would annoy you, or am I just totally losing my mind:

Email from customer:

“Hi my name is N***** and I will be ordering you Bo Peep costume and I read it’s free shipping for that but , do you do next day forr orders even if will cost more? I need to have by the 30th or before 8pm 31st because I am in a contest. What day can I order it to get it on the 30th? Need to know asap thanks!”

My response:

“Hi N*****,
If you choose Express shipping when you check out, your order will arrive in 1 – 2 days. I hope that helps!
Cheers,
Summer
LaLaLingerie.com
Customer Service”

Email from customer:

“If I send it out Friday will it be in georgia by the 30th? Or do I ned to order it Thursday?”

My response:

“Hi Nicole,
The sooner you order the better chance that it will arrive on time. We only have 2 of the Little Bo Peep costumes left in stock, so it could sell out very quickly. I hope that helps!
Cheers,
Summer
LaLaLingerie.com
Customer Service”

Email from customer:

“Hi, I was wodering if I order the Bo Peep Costume tomorrow will I be able to get it on the 30th of before 8pm on the 31st . Could you find out and let me know asap. Is their away to to do next day?
When you find out the anwers please let me know. Thank-you, N*****”

My response:

“Yes, If you opt for Express shipping, you order will arrive in 1 – 2 days. I hope that helps!
Cheers,
Summer
LaLaLingerie.com
Customer Service”

Email from customer:

“I have a question one last time to be sure tomorrow if I order the bo peep costume can I get it on Saturday before 8-9pm”

My response:

“Yes, If you order by 11am PST and opt for Express shipping, your order will arrive in 1 – 2 days. I hope that helps!
Cheers,
Summer
LaLaLingerie.com
Customer Service”

Am I crazy or is this person really really really really annoying?

I just wrote the biggest check of my life! I am now the owner of this beautiful BMW X5 with a fast and furious 4.6L engine.

This baby is packin’ 340 horses under the hood and does 0 – 60 in 6.2 seconds. Not bad for an SUV …And the best part? I paid it off in Halloween costumes. Yippy!

People just don’t get it. I’m normally always busy, (which is one of the curses of owning a business), but this time of year, I’m SERIOUSLY FUCKING BUSY. As in, NO, I don’t have 15 minutes to shoot the shit with you. I love you, miss you and all that great stuff, but I just don’t have enough minutes in my day at this point.

This time of year, I LITERALLY work from the time my eyes open in the morning, to the time I finally pass out at night (17 hours a day, minus the 30 minutes to 1 hour I drag myself out of the office to try to have dinner with Stefan). Why do I do this to myself? Because no matter how great the people that work for me are, I hold a higher expectation and know that I can do the best job. I would rather do it all myself then have an employee do a half-assed job. I know. I need therapy…I just don’t have time …

My best friend called me 3 times this morning (yes, I saw that she called, but was too busy to answer) and after not being able to get ahold of me, decided to just show up because she needed a Halloween costume. Long story short, two hours later, after hanging out, trying on costumes and me telling her to leave (no, really, I did), she asked me when my lunch break was…AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? My LUNCH BREAK!!!??

It’s blatently obviously that people don’t understand what I do for a living, but sometimes I just want to break things…

Did you know that:

The average North American opens the fridge 22 times a day.

The cat is the only domestic animal that walks on its claws, rather then it’s paws.

The liver is not an organ: it’s a gland.

Octupus and squid have 3 hearts.

Although the sun appears round, it is actually flattened on the top and bottom.

In an emergency, the liquid inside of young coconuts can substitute for blood plasma.

In America, the average wedding costs $15,000 – $20,000 and includes 188 guests.

Learn something knew everyday, eh?

I’m all for being festive, but when your business performs abortions, I think that mini gravestones are probably not the best office decorations…

I was kickin’ it in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood today, (while I was waiting for my birth control prescription to be filled) and I noticed that there were these mini gravestones everywhere. Is it just me, or is that an especially creepy decoration for the the waiting room of an abortion clinic?

Conner and Dianne are prego with their first baby and they just found out it’s a boy!

Uh oh, Dianne, looks like you’ll have a mini donkey on your hands …CONGRATULATIONS!

Now, what are they going to name their new little boy? Any suggestions for baby boy names?

So, if you already didn’t know, I met the last boyfriend I will ever have on Yahoo Personals, almost 2 years ago. It was the 1st time I had done the whole online personals thing and within 24 hours my inbox was flooded with messages from guys that I had nothing in common with (and some where old enough to be my dad!). So, I figured I would ignore all of that BS and go looking for what I wanted instead of settling for something that was handed to me. Low and behold, I lucked upon Stefan’s profile. Hmmm, cute, surfs, like to travel, let’s see what he has to say…

“I am supposed to be describing myself and “your ideal match” here. Sounds like a good idea, but I have a hard time buying into this.

I am motivated in life, travel and work. I have drive and believe in the American Dream but question priorities that revolve completely around a career without emphasis on life. Although I am guilty of wanting to be financially successful, I am not guilty of selling out. A good quote, “Men have been taught that it is a virtue to agree with others. But the creator is the man who disagrees. Men have been taught that it is a virtue to swim with the current. But the creator is the man who goes against the current. Men have been taught that it is a virtue to stand together. But the creator is the man who stands alone.”

So what do you think about that? I’m not some loner, but feel success and happiness come when you shy away from the status quo and get in touch with what is important…whatever that may be to you. Does all that make me sound like some hippie? I am far from that, but you may be able to see that for yourself. Let’s see if this thing works, shoot me an email.“

(Those of you who know me, know that I could have easily written the exact same thing while trying to describe myself…). Holy match made in cyber space…

After going back and forth between a few different costumes, I FINALLY made a decision on what I’m going to be for Halloween. A construction worker! I thought it would be fitting if Stefan and I dressed up as construction workers since our house is supposed to close on Oct 31st, which means we are going to be starting construction about that time. Luckly, my store carries the perfect sexy construction girl costume :

I also picked up a genuine hard hat and nerdy safety goggles, which ended up being cheaper then the cheesy fake costume hard hats & goggles. I really wanted the pink hard hat, but I got the orange since it matches my costume …What are you going to be for Halloween?!

In 2005, Anthony Ray Stockelman thought it would be acceptable to abduct, molest and kill an innocent 10 year old girl named Katlyn “Katie” Collman. He was convicted of this crime and sentanced to life in prison. Since child molesters and child killers are indeed the scum of the earth, Stockelman’s fellow inmates decided to hold him down and forcibly give him a tattoo across his entire forehead that says, “Katie’s Revenge”.

Katie’s Revenge as told by CNN

I absolutely believe in revenge for certain things and this is one of them. Only the weak forgive and forget. I whole heartedly believe in “eye for an eye”. If you think it’s acceptable to abduct, rape and kill, I have no problems with a splintered broom stick being rammed up your ass and you being spun like a top until you die a painful death. That may sound gruesome, but that is nothing compared to violating and then killing an innocent child that is not even old enough to comprehend why this is happening to them. Anthony Ray Stockelman got off easy with this tattoo, but I’m glad he got to experiance a taste of hate.

Look at what Stefan gifted me with:

Now, THAT would be a delicious 6’3″ squashtail, wave riding MACHINE! All tagged up with the “VICIOUS” logo (do I smell a tax write off, too?!). Yum. I can’t wait to ride it. All those chicks wishing for diamonds and jewelry don’t know what they’re missing …