Summers make wonderful companions if they are properly fed and cared for. Below we show what the diet of an average Summer consists of:

As you can see, for proper nutrition (and to avoid the “crankies”) a Summer requires:

~ Copious amount of caffeine, delivered in the form of Redbull
~ Nutritional protein shakes (because Summers tend to work alot and don’t have time to eat 3 real meals per day)
~ String cheese
~ Gardenburgers
~ Sour Electroshocks Candy

Most of these items are ready to feed to your Summer, right out of the box, but the Gardenburgers do require special handling. A proper Gardenburger should be dressed with: 1 kosher dill pickle, 3 tomato slices, red leaf lettuce, purple onion, green bell pepper, avocado, sesame seed bun, spicy mustard, ketchup and a dab of wasabi horseradish mayo. Also, be sure to feed your Summer the “light” version of string cheese. This is because the Summer eats about 4 – 6 peices of string cheese per day and the male conterpart has been known to refuse to mate with a Summer suffering from Myassishugecuziatetoomuchstringcheeseitis.

A Summer also prefers to eat in her natural habitat as you may be able to see in the background of the above picture…

(The above items made up 98% of my entire diet last week, in case anyone was wondering where this crazy post originated from…haha)