I took Monkey to the vet today and her butt problem was exactly what I thought (gotta love the internet). Her anal sacs were full, which gives dogs a very uncomfortable feeling. Victor the vet tech, did the honors of putting his finger up her butt to “express” her anal gland ($20, well spent…) and even he seemed a bit grossed out when he was explaining to me that Monkey’s sacs “were very full”.

The vet also gave me a perscription for anal cream and I’m supposed to “apply a thin layer to rectal area twice daily for 10 days”. WHAT? They didn’t even give me any rubber gloves to go with the Monkey anal cream. Christ.

Stefan, I am Fex Ex-ing Monkey and her anal cream to you. She’s YOUR dog, you know…(she’s only our dog when she does cute stuff…).

Anal cream. Are you f-ing kidding me?!